Instructor: Dr. Lalia Hekima Kiburi
Spring Quarter 2014
Blog Question #1
As
we learned in our first presentation, some African American or Black women have
a particular resistance to interracial dating and mating. Read the paragraph below and:
1) State
whether you agree or disagree with Iainad’s opinion on how parents should
accept interracial dating and mating.
2) How
does this writer’s belief on interracial dating and mating challenge
the sociological concept of “nation building?”
A
Different Take On Interracial Relationships: Questioning The Motives Of Our
Mates And Ourselves
Many
of us live in diverse communities where we interact with a culturally diverse
group of people, but because I work in the downtown core in a large,
metropolitan city, I understand that for some their racial tolerance has a
short expiry date, ending at 5pm on Friday afternoons. Once they get off the
commuter train and reach their homes in the suburbs, that tolerance goes out
the window. But in this day and age, I'm of the opinion that anyone who has
issues with their children dating or marrying across racial lines should have
raised them in a forest or under a rock.
I disagree with the author's ideas that someone can become racially intolerant after a certain time of week. It's not as if it is a switch we can turn on and off. I believe that after living in a culturally diverse area, people are bound to become racially tolerant 24/7. However, I agree with the author that parents who want to promote nation building can only live in a monoracial area. Otherwise, it would be near impossible to regulate the interactions among children, and potential significant others. The author believes that since we live in such a diverse area, nation building would be extremely difficult, because people would have to go out of their way to find somebody of the same cultural background.
ReplyDelete1) I disagree with Lainad because she generalizes parents who do not accept interracial dating and mating too broadly. I believe America is the most diverse country in the world, and with that comes a lot of struggle for immigrant parents who have grew up in a much different culture with people of their own race and minimal diversity. Many parents in America who have a negative attitude towards dating across racial lines are not educated about other cultures and choose to be uneducated about it because they grew up through a tradition from their parents of mating within their race. I agree that parents should be understanding and allow their children to date across racial lines, but at the same time we can't blame them for having a narrow mindset or encouraging their children to marry within the same race because that is how they were raised growing up. As our country grows and diversifies over time, I believe each generation will become more and more accepting of dating across racial lines.
ReplyDelete2) The author is not concerned with "nation building" in her article. She believes anyone can mate with whoever they want in America and that idea should be accepted by all. She implies that people living in this nation can blend their color, culture, and traditions to develop this diversifying nation further.
I disagree with Lainad in the idea that we can choose when and when not we want to be racially tolerant. I do not believe that we should force people to accept interracial interactions, but I do think that we should foster and encourage a multiracial community. In reaction to Lainad, I do agree that our country is becoming increasingly diverse and it is difficult to not come across interracial relations daily. If parents are against the idea of interracial interactions, "raising children in a forest or under a rock" is not ideal. This does not face the issue of complex relationships, but instead, brushes it aside and ignores it. By doing this and not coming to terms with our diverse world, a peaceful community cannot successfully exist.
ReplyDeleteAdditionally, Lainad does not believe in nation building can be easily accomplished. Because she believes there is so many races constantly in contact, it is difficult to separate the lines of various races. Due to the increasing diversity, she disagrees with nation building and the maintenance of distinct racial lines.
I disagree with Lainad's opinion that people can decide when they want to be racially intolerant. If a person were truly racially intolerant then they would have great difficulty hiding their true feelings and pretending to be accepting of all races. I do however, agree with her belief that it is a hard task to have parents expect their children to not cross cultures when dating others. I understand that some parents come from very old fashioned cultures that want to preserve their practices and beliefs but the world is becoming more and more diverse. As a result, there are so many different races for people to experience through dating, and expecting them to limit themselves to one race is like asking them to restrict their life experiences. This opinion depicts that Lainad does not believe in "nation building" and feels as if it is an unrealistic expectation due to the increased diversity.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Lainad’s first statement to a certain extent. While I do not believe that someone could simply turn on and off their racial intolerance, I do believe that some hide it during the work day and then show their true feelings when they are off the clock. Because of all the anti discrimination laws in place, an employer would have to at least pretend to be racially tolerant at work or face legal repercussions. However, in a large metropolitan area with many races present, there are often major tensions between different racial communities, and I think it’s safe to say that even those who act tolerant at work may be part of this divide as soon as they leave their work and return to their comfortable, single race neighborhoods.
ReplyDeleteIt is clear that Lainad is against the concept of nation building from her opinion that parents who forbid their children from interracial dating should raise those children in total seclusion. While I agree that this kind of complete intolerance of other races shouldn’t occur, I disagree with the force Lainad uses in making her statement. While I personally don’t agree with concept of nation building, I do understand that it may be appealing for many reasons for other people, and I think that the idea of racial tolerance must include the acceptance of anyone’s preference in dating, whether that be interracial or intraracial. That being said, I think that even those who participate in nation building should learn to be understanding of those who do not share the same beliefs, especially in the diverse country we live in today.
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ReplyDeleteI partially agree with her statement, though not to the extent she implies it. I certainly believe that there's no way to prevent your child from dating interracially unless you keep them isolated from all other races. With the diversity in the world and the amount of people that your child will encounter from other backgrounds, of course there's no way to censor their interactions enough to completely remove the possibility that they may fall in love with someone outside their race. I don't agree that they need to have their child isolated from the world in the sense that she implies quite dramatically in saying that they should be hidden "in a forest or under a rock". There are ways that a parent can influence their child to dislike other races, and although it's not fool-proof it can be effective. Simply speaking of other races in a negative way as the child grows up can lead them to believe that way. Of course, as chapter 2 proves, it doesn't always depend on the parent's attitude towards interracial dating for whether or not their child would date interracially. Overall, I agree with the underlying statement that parents should accept interracial dating as a possibility for their child, with the world as diverse as it is now.
ReplyDeleteThis author is clearly not a big supporter of nation building. She appears to be saying, "Interracial dating and mating will happen, so deal with it". As if to say nation building is a fruitless goal for parents to have. She doesn't seem necessarily against the concept of nation building, but rather she seems to say that it's illogical to try and depend on your child marrying within their race when the possibility is wide open for them to love anyone else they encounter.
Lainad suggests that parents should learn to accept their children's preference for dating or marrying across racial lines because exposure to different peoples in today's generation is inevitable. Society is in a state of transition: changing from an era when it was once not only tolerated, but also encouraged to racially discriminate others, to an era that now has zero tolerance for racial discrimination. Thus, it only makes sense that traditional parents who grew up in an earlier generation bear the mindset of “nation building,” or the belief that it is imperative to pass on cultural traditions and traditional features. This ideology of crossing cultures through dating and ultimately mating inherently poses a threat to nation building. Lainad proposes that nation building in the type of world we live in today is an unrealistic expectation to have on children because of the large exposure to different faces. For example, being of a mixed Chinese and Cambodian background, the chances of me coming across another person with the exact same heritage is virtually impossible. So much so, that I have personally never encountered enough people of that combination to have been open to a “nation building” partnership. In short, although I certainly agree with the author's opinion on how parents should accept interracial dating and mating, I understand why it is hard for parent's of an older generation to understand the way today's generation views dating and mating.
ReplyDeleteLainad seems to be inferring that people of the older generation may have less tolerance for the diversity and interactions among the new, more diverse society. Although I agree that people can appear to be more tolerant to diversity in the workplace, and then go home to act differently, these people are actually not tolerant, they are just hiding the truth about how they actually feel. The people who hide their feeling may be able to try, but I think some people can actually sense the underlying feelings of judgment or dislike no matter how hard a person tries to be tolerant of people of different backgrounds/ethnicity. I agree with Lainad about how the parents cannot expect their children to date and marry within their own backgrounds because society is truly becoming more diverse and even if in the home they only interact with people from their own culture and background, they will go to school or work and they will eventually hang out with people of different backgrounds. She is against "nation building" because she wants people to be interacting with other people even if they are different and saying that dating and marrying across racial lines is inevitable.
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ReplyDeleteI agree with Lainad’s opinion that parents should accept interracial dating and mating, without stereotyping and discrimination. However, I think she was too harsh in emphasizing her belief, since people’s opinions are their own and parents should also be allowed to prefer dating and mating of their children within an ethnic group. There are reasons some parents would prefer so, since it’s realistically often easier to cherish a culture or communicate when you’re with someone who shares and understand your background. That’s not to say someone from a different culture can’t learn and understand where you come from; it’s to say that there is the parental mindset of hoping their children have an easier time maintaining a happy and harmonious relationship.
ReplyDeleteTherefore, since Lainad’s belief calls for relationships between people of different ethnicities from different cultures or backgrounds, the inherent concept of nation building can’t exist. On the other hand, I believe the aspect of maintaining a culture can still happen even between two ethnically different individuals.
I agree with Lainad that parents should be accepting or at least tolerant of interracial dating. Since society and its values are fluid and not static, what may have applied to older generations may no longer be applicable or as relevant. Lainad is expressing the idea that older generations must accept this fact of change, or burry their heads in the sand and remove their parenting values from contemporary society. On the idea of nation building, I believe Lainad is making the point that nation building is becoming a thing of the past. She gives the personal example of living in a higher diverse area where people at least publicly show tolerance. As society continues to change, it is likely that other cultures will continue to become more widely accepted, and the expressed tolerance will continue even into personal life.
ReplyDelete1. I do not agree with Lainad’s argument regarding Interracial Dating and Relationships, as she frames the situation in a very negative manner. She explains that “racial tolerance has a short expiry date,” and that such a feeling of intolerance is natural. She seems to express that individuals in the “suburbs” find “tolerance” a chore. Personally, I see interracial dating as a loving connection between people, just the same as dating within ethnic identities. The concept of intersectionality, or the notion that each person maintains an identity of many expressions, demonstrates that these suburb dwellers also thrive in interracial relationships and family. I think it is somewhat classist to assume that people who live in suburbs are racially intolerant. Hopefully, Americans realize the beauty of interracial relationships, which allow people to learn about other cultures and grow alongside supportive partners.
ReplyDelete2. She mentions being raised “in a forest or under a rock” as the way to avoid interracial aspects of society. Therefore, she believes that Nation Building is impossible in ethnically and culturally diverse communities. Lainad suggests that parents should not even attempt Nation Building, as children will work against any efforts. I believe that new generations will learn acceptance and tolerance, not making the world a segmented environment, but instead a brilliant collaboration of ideas, cultures, and personalities.
I agree with Lainad that there should not be an issue with interracial dating and mating. As far as parents go though, whether or not they believe this I think it just matters whether or not they support their child's decision. Saying parents should have raised them "under a rock" is taking it a bit too far. But I do agree with the underlying point that it shouldn't really matter. She clearly is challenging the concept of nation building because she is encouraging dating/mating interracially, which is the opposite of nation building's idea to date/mate within a race/culture to "preserve" it. She backs up her point by using the example of how her community is very diverse and nation building is lessening while interracial dating/mating is increasing.
ReplyDeleteI agree with a portion of Lainad’s argument because there are some people who are simply not exposed to other cultures because they live in an area that is mostly of the same race. These people in the work place may have also grown up and gone to school where there was not a lot of racial diversity. Because of this, they may just only be able to ignore the situation entirely in the workplace. I do not believe, however, that one can just turn on or off their racial tolerance at will. People are usually culturally educated, but they cannot just displace what they have learned to become intolerant. Parents, no matter what, should educate their children about different cultures, and whether or not they believe in nation building or not, they should at least give their children a choice of what to believe.
ReplyDeleteLainad identifies indirectly challenges nation building in a metropolitan society due to the fact that in a city, it is definitely more diverse due to the variety of jobs and the high population sizes. It is much harder for people to be racially intolerant if they are constantly surrounded by different types of people because they will have to adjust or they will become ostracized by all those who are of a different race.
1) I agree with Iainad's opinion on how parents should accept interracial dating and mating, because multiculturalism should be accepted and promoted within our modern and culturally diverse communities. Unless parents raise their children in culturally homogeneous areas, it would be difficult for parents to limit their children's exposure to individuals of other racial backgrounds. I also agree with her statement that some individuals turn off their racial tolerance after work. Some individuals may refrain from expressing racist remarks or opinions in a work environment where there may be consequences but may feel safe to express them outside of a work environment.
ReplyDelete2) Iainad challenges nation building, because she supports interracial dating and marrying across cultural lines which is the exact opposite of nation building. Since we live in such culturally diverse areas, interracial dating and marrying is becoming more common unless we live in culturally sheltered areas such as "in a forest or under a rock".
1) While I understand Iainad’s take on racial tolerance and subsequent interracial dating, I do not fully agree with the message she is conveying. Iainad tries to voice her support for dating across racial lines; however, she portrays her argument in a negative manner. She condemns parents who take issue with their children dating members of different races and subsequently fails to acknowledge that other cultures have different ideals and practices. Other cultures may enforce nation building to retain the physical and cultural aspects of their race for the next generation. An undisclosed individual once told me to marry someone with light hair and implied fair skin as a means of ensuring that any future offspring retain my blond hair color. As Iainad resides in a metropolitan community, racial diversity and tolerance is more prevalent, increasing the chances of interracial relationships. However, she assumes that suburban communities, who increasingly lack diversity, are racially intolerant. Despite being a European-American raised in largely white, suburban community, I am very racially tolerant. The lack of interracial dating in my community simply stems from the lack of diversity present amongst community members. While she is entitled to her opinion, Iainad shouldn’t belittle others for possessing different sets of beliefs.
ReplyDelete2) Iainad’s belief on interracial dating and mating is a definite challenge to the sociological concept of “nation building.” Her condemnation of those parents who take issue with dating across racial lines implies that she believes nation building to be a racially intolerant process. She also implies that nation building is an improbable concept as “many of us live in diverse communities where we interact with a culturally diverse group of people.” However, Iainad fails to acknowledge that there are a vast number of communities with only one or two races prevalent, decreasing the probability of interracial relationships.
While I can understand where the author is coming from, I do not agree that the nation building ideology is as cut and dry as she makes it sound. While some may work in highly diverse environments, the lines between working interracially and dating/mating interracially are two different things. Nation building is not a simple ideology for our society to do away with. It is engrained in the essence of many cultures and as familiar to them as any other belief. While swift and complete acceptance of interracial dating/mating would be awesome it isn’t a realistic occurrence, the current standards of dating/mating in our society are unlikely to change over night. Parents and households will surely come to a greater acceptance eventually, but it will definitely take much more time.
ReplyDeleteThe author’s opinion strongly challenges the concept of nation building. She advocates for interracial dating/mating, going so far as to say that those against it should have raised their children "in a forest or under a rock.” The author strongly believes interracial dating/mating to be a part of our modern, societal progression and the concept of nation building to be an archaic piece of the past.
I agree with Iainad to some extent. I can see Iainad’s approach and motive to the problem at hand, however, I don’t find it to be a complete solution. I can see the parents’ reasoning for perhaps pushing one ethnic group over the other when it comes to their sons’ and daughters’ life partners. In my opinion, the parents, when this is truly their reasoning, are simply proud of their heritage and want their kids to embrace it fully and experience marriage through it. Obviously the kids can carry it on through their lives, however, a few generations later, the ethnic traditions of the ethnic soup the family becomes would make it hard to maintain all of the traditions. This flips back towards the parents as the children simply choose to live their own lives and can accept what they want in terms of ethnicity and identity as they are their own people. Once again this goes back as what if Dad doesn’t teach his son something and the son would like it? Perhaps none of this matters as the idea of pushing certain ethnicities shouldn’t be a thing in the first place since everyone is free to do their own, however, I believe the parent isn’t stepping out of bounds when pushing their own ethnicity over someone else’s. As a Syrian and a minority, I take great pride in who I am, where my family comes from, the traditions we uphold, and the lifestyle we live. Would I want to push what I find to be a great lifestyle onto my children? Of course, they are my children and I want the best for them. Parents, however, are wrong, just like everyone else. This is where the concept of interracial dating runs into trouble, as some parents believe in nothing but nation building, which, in my opinion, is the wrong way to approach matters that affect someone else’s life so greatly. I believe it is okay for the parents to push a certain ethnicity just so long as they are completely open to any other ethnicity. I think having pride in one’s heritage is alright just as long as the person doesn’t put any other ethnicity down. Because of this viewpoint, I am torn. Statistically, influencing the view point of someone can make it less likely to find their one true love on the planet as it could deter them from certain situations. Approaching the situation from an ideal standpoint, nothing should be pushed, the individual should be free from any “burden” to choose whoever they want, however, I believe it would be difficult for a parent who thinks something is better for their children to not voice their opinion. I believe that I would most likely push someone from my ethnicity group to marry my child(ren), however, I would also be completely open to them marrying or dating anyone they want as the idea and concept of nation building does nothing but support exclusivity among groups. I believe the best method is to simply be prideful in one’s ethnicity but avoid the danger of hubris and be as open-minded as possible.
ReplyDelete