Instructor: Dr. Lalia Hekima Kiburi
Winter Quarter 2014
Cognitive dissonance is a social psychological theory defined as: "the state of having inconsistent thoughts, beliefs, or attitudes, esp. as relating to behavioral decisions and attitude change." In other words: when your beliefs are inconsistent with your reality. Utilizing course material (lectures, presentations, readings) discuss how you could utilize cognitive dissonance theory to explain the appeal and the challenges faced by couples in an interracial relationship?
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Cognitive dissonance can be used to describe some of the inconsistencies between interracial dating ideals and realities. For instance, as mentioned by our guest speaker this past week, some times those in interracial relationships are not aware of the reality of glares and harshness directed towards them by outsiders. Additionally, certain expectations are often not upheld in reality. For example, often times interracial couples think that their child will be considered mixed, and are excited about having a child of mixed race. In reality, children are often grouped into one race, ie; an african american/caucasian child would be considered black many times. Additionally, some couples might not think of the fact that their child will be treated negatively because of the race of their partner.
ReplyDeleteI feel, to many, it is easy to "say" and appear to believe in one certain way, yet in retrospect, deep down, to not fully embrace ones own "beliefs", which may be manifested in unconscious actions. As this is directed towards interracial couples, it may work as either a challenge or as a benefit. This depends on the relationship the couple has with the individual with cognitive dissonance. As we discussed in class with our presentations, it seemed people of a close relationship status, as family or close friends, often held inconsistent beliefs towards interracial dating. For example, parents would allow their child to date interracially, but when it came to marriage or serious commitment, they would hesitate to fully support the relationship. As family members, this fluctuating and wavering support could be seen by an interracial couple to be a substantial hinderance. However, on the other hand, this "superficial" support by strangers and acquaintances may be a benefit for an interracial couple to feel safer and compatible in society.
ReplyDeleteThe phenomenon of cognitive dissonance helps to elucidate inconsistencies between the beliefs and actions of interracial couples. Professor Haynes mentioned last Tuesday that his wedding ceremony consisted of many elements from the respective cultures of him and his wife, but later went on to call the ceremony somewhat "contrived", as it was, in his opinion, a little overboard. Professor Haynes and his wife went into their marriage with the goal of maximizing each others' culture and customs, but in reality, their marriage turned out to be much more about two people learning to live with each other.
ReplyDeleteCognitive dissonance can be a factor in how outsiders treat interracial couples. A person who respects the cultures and customs of two ethnicities separately may be uncomfortable when those two ethnicities mix in the form of an interracial relationship. This is quite common, but it reflects a drastic inconsistency between belief and true perception.
I believe that interracial relationships often encounter cognitive dissonance through outsiders to the relationship who believe that they are accepting of other races and cultures, yet believe that these cultures must be preserved through separation and nation building. This belief is contradictory because if they were to actually be accepting of other cultures, they would not oppose the connection of persons of different races and faiths, and would instead be happy to see cultures being shared and promoted. Instead, they see culture as part of a person’s life that is only to be shared with those of like cultures; their thought being that their culture must be preserved and kept from mixing with other cultures. In reality, this would cause exclusivity, rather than acceptance of cultures. This internal dilemma can cause people who are uncomfortable with interracial relationships to become critical of those who date across cultural lines, and try to find ways of stopping it from happening.
ReplyDeleteAn example of this form of cognitive dissonance, shared by Professor Haynes, is the way the Irish-Catholic father of one of Haynes’ previous girlfriends had acted toward their interracial relationship. Haynes, who is African American, knew the father of his girlfriend before he had actually met the girl, and had been friends and neighbors with him. The father knew Haynes as an intellectual graduate student and had even recommended Haynes for a leading position in an exclusive club that he was involved in. When Haynes asked the father for permission to date his daughter, he gave Haynes permission to do just that. However, the father quickly went to the minister of his church to ask for advice as to how to stop the relationship from going any further. This is a clear case of cognitive dissonance that the father experienced, as he was comfortable with Professor Haynes as a person, but could not allow Haynes to date his daughter because of their differences in culture. Cognitive dissonance in regards to interracial relationships can create tension in a person that may spill over to affect those dating across cultures.
Cognitive dissonance can be extremely harmful to those in interracial relationships. Last Tuesday, an African American guest speaker discussed his past experiences dating. As a young man, he dated an “Irish, Catholic girl” who lived in the same apartment complex as him. He was close with her father prior to them dating, and the father considered the professor in high regards. However, when it came to dating his daughter, the father was extremely against this and warned his daughter that she could not marry him. Often times, it appears as though many parents are tolerable of their children dating across racial lines, but deem the idea of marrying interracially as unacceptable. On the contrary, many people acknowledge other cultures, religions, races, etc. but feel that they are forbidden from mixing all together. I think the idea of believing one thing, but not being supportive of it outside one’s thoughts is extremely hypocritical, and often times hurtful.
ReplyDeleteUntil taking this class I had never really considered that dating interracially brought along with it challenges caused by racism as well as differences in beliefs and cultures. Had I entered into an interracial relationship with my previous mindset, I would have undoubtedly have run into difficulties. This is where the cognitive dissonance theory is applicable and important. Even if someone enters an interracial relationship with the best intentions, they may still be naive for thinking that an interracial relationship has exactly the same connotations as a single race relationship. If someone enters an interracial relationship without considering or being prepared for the responses they might get from friends, family, and even complete strangers, it may ultimately be their lack of touch with reality that creates challenges in their relationship. Our speaker last week noted that his wife was often oblivious to the stares of strangers, and went on to mention that he was grateful for that; however, someone less understanding might become angry with his or her partner for not being in touch with the reality of responses to interracial dating.
ReplyDeleteThe first thing that I think of when I consider cognitive dissonance is the discomfort that people feel when their actions conflict with their beliefs or when one belief conflicts with another. A couple in an interracial relationship will likely encounter people with different beliefs about topics such as race, culture, and sexuality that will influence how these people respond to the couple. Consider parents who believe in nation building and want their son to only date and marry a person in his own race. These parents also want to support their son through the difficulties and joys that he experiences throughout his life. When the son is thrilled to be dating an amazing person, the parents share the son’s joy and are happy for him. However, when the parents realize that their son is not dating within his race, they act unsupportively in response to the relationship. The parents have been put into a situation in which their beliefs about nation building contradict with their beliefs about being supportive parents. Such uncomfortable occurrences of contradictory beliefs could help explain both the supportive and the challenging responses that many couples in interracial relationships are faced with. Therefore, I think that cognitive dissonance theory shines a light on how contradictory beliefs about topics like race and sexuality can create strife within one person as well as conflict between people. However, contradicting beliefs can sometimes be reconciled to solve these problems of discomfort and conflict. If cognitive dissonance is something that factors into peoples’ responses to couples in interracial relationships, I hope that these people’s beliefs can be reconciled in a way that results in respectful and supportive responses toward such couples. -Smedlund
ReplyDeleteI think that cognitive dissonance in relation to interracial dating generally stems internally, rather than being imposed externally by onlookers. Couples dating interracially, I would assume, accept interracial dating. With that mindset, theoretically, interracial couples should behave in accordance with their acceptance of interracial dating, and remain unchallenged by society. However, as discussed by the guest speaker, interracial dating faces numerous obstacles outside of the relationship itself. Families, friends and support systems often provide opposition to such relationships. Members of the general public also often offer unwanted judgement or even throw around ethnophaulisms. This often prevents interracial couples from behaving in complete accordance with their belief systems. This is also where the cognitive dissonance occurs: couples cannot act publicly in ways that agree with their values for fear of judgement and perhaps even ridicule. This provides for a very limited relationship, in my opinion, as part of being in love is being able to share it with the people that mean the most to you. On the other hand, this need to overcome such an obstacle could provide for an even stronger relationship.
ReplyDeleteI think a specific example that demonstrates the theory of cognitive dissonance is one that Professor Kiburi provided about a student of hers. He was dating a Jewish woman and let his friend make a discriminatory joke about Jews in front of his girlfriend and failed to defend her. She consequently broke up with him. He told Professor Kiburi how bad he felt afterwards, and he also agreed with his ex-girlfriend’s decision to break up with him, acknowledging his cognitive dissonance. This student probably had no qualms about dating a Jewish woman or thought negatively of Jews, but he failed to be vocal when the time called for it. What I imagine would be a big challenge for couples in interracial relationships is this problem of cognitive dissonance. People who probably have not had to directly confront issues of race, culture, or religion might be put into situations much like the one that Professor Kiburi’s student was in and be afraid to speak up, especially if it is someone that they are close to. With cognitive dissonance probably comes a sense of guilt and shame for knowing what the right thing was and failing to do so.
ReplyDeleteOn the other hand, a reason why interracial relationships might be appealing is because people who have ever stayed quiet when they should have spoken up have the chance make things right, even if they are no longer with the person they might have failed to defend. They will not be able to go back and time and change the decision they made, but they can be sure to not fall into cognitive dissonance again. They can do this by not making the same mistake again and subjecting their significant others to feelings of humiliation, depression, anger, or frustration due to the ignorance of others outside the relationship. I think one of the biggest appeals of an interracial relationship is the connection you get to make with your significant other by supporting and encouraging him or her to move past ethnophaulisms, hate crimes, or discrimination and the simultaneous opportunity you have to show people who disapprove that a relationship is based on much more than skin color, ethnicity, or religion.
Cognitive dissonance can be used to explain the challenge whites sometimes face when they enter an interracial relationship due to their experiences with opposition to their relationship in contrast with their perceived notions of race relations in America. Prior to their involvement in interracial relationships, whites posses racial privilege and this leads to a more optimistic view of racial interactions in the US and a lack of awareness of racial discrimination that still persists currently in the nation. However, once they become involved in an interracial relationship and experience hostility as a result, this causes a conflict between their idealist views on race relations in the U.S. and the present reality that racism is still prevalent in U.S. society. This type of cognitive dissonance can present tough personal challenges for whites involved in interracial relationships.
ReplyDeleteI think one article that provided a good extrapolation of cognitive dissonance was the reading titled "Gay Couples More Likely to be Interracial of Inter-Ethnic, According to New 2010 Census Analysis." I think the fact that gay couples have a higher tendency to date outside their own ethnic group may stem from the fact that many gay people are more likely to have completely accepted who they are, and consequently they are more likely to accept someone else for who they are regardless of race or ethnicity. Conversely, heterosexual couples may not be so comfortable accepting their partners even when they are different, because they likely would not have experienced the same type of struggle for acceptance that many gay people face at some point in their lives. This is an example of cognitive dissonance because even though the couples may initially fee that they are fine with dating someone from an entirely different background, they may come to realize at some point that they are not as accepting of diversity as they thought they were.
ReplyDeleteCognitive dissonance is a great way to explain some of the inconsistencies people face in regards to their relationship, regardless of whether it is interracial, heterosexual etc. For example many homosexual couples may live their lives in peace within a gay community or a city that is accepting of gays like San Francisco, but once they leave those areas, their perception of the relationship no longer corresponds with the outside view of their relationship. If a homosexual couple were to express their relationship in a very straight edge community in the South per say, people may view their relationship as full of sin, wrong, or negatively in general. Last week's speaker was another perfect example of cognitive dissonance. He often dated outside of his race; to him it was never something he had to think twice about but when other people viewed their relationship there was a lot of judgement and hate towards him. Cognitive dissonance seems to usually be very damaging to relationships because of the negative judgement and ideas that people create in their minds about other people's relationships. However, in the end it really only matters how you feel about your own relationship with someone.
ReplyDeleteThe challenges facing interracial relationships regarding cognitive dissonance theory are highlighted in the first sociological paper on college students and last week’s guest speaker. While these two evidences are discussed differently, both convey the challenge that interracial couples are perceived differently in different environments. One example taken from the sociological study on interracial college students is that couples experience cognitive dissonance between their friends and family—friends are generally accepting whereas the family is perceived to generate tension. Another example can be pulled from last week’s guest speaker discussing his transition from New York to California, more specifically in New York when people assumed he was married to a black woman in line even though he was clearly holding a long conversation with his wife. However, upon moving to Davis, nobody made the same mistake. Fundamentally, cognitive discourse theory shows in the two examples above that generations and nations are fragmented in their understanding and acceptance of progressive concepts such as interracial dating and mating.
ReplyDeleteThe social concept of cognitive dissonance plays a very fundamental part in dissecting the mindset of those who do venture out to date and mate across cultural barriers. Their romantic life is dictated by a schism driven by two conflicting entities: their interests and society’s interests. Their personal interests urge them to pursue love and refute society’s constraints on their love life. On the other hand, society’s preferences are often not consistent with this mindset. In some regions, society is against people venturing out and going against the “standard flow” of nature – especially in regards to race, religion, culture, etc. In the case of cognitive dissonance, where an individual’s beliefs conflict with one another, the differing priorities cause internal strife and complicate their decision. A person must consider what the value more: society’s perception of them or their own future romance. In some scenarios, they would value the former and overshadow their own interests based on suggestions given by friends, family, religious figures, etc. At the same time, others choose the former and proceed with their romantic expedition into the socially foreign. Each person who chooses to explore intercultural relationships must be prepared to face such a schism and in the end, choose one proverbial path.
ReplyDeleteI think cognitive dissonance plays a tremendous role not only in interracial dating but in any situation in which we choose to act against the current of normative, expected societal behavior. We are in constant fluctuation between the pull of our intuition and the pressures of everyday interactions, predetermined standards, and societal systems. Regarding interracial dating, we have indirectly discussed this concept numerous times; for example, the excerpt we read about interracially dating college couples discussed how these people held the belief that dating across racial lines was a positive, non-deviant practice, yet they found themselves uncomfortable and having to deal with the negativity of public reaction. They could not live ignorantly in their mental idealism and ignore the need to deal with the influence of the public. In my opinion, thoughts are easy to formulate and sustain while on the other hand feelings transcend the vocabulary of logic and are often influenced by external factors. I think in the context of interracial dating, it is easier to convince ourselves that we don’t agree with another and stay loyal to our thoughts but the nature abstract, illogical nature of feelings is far more difficult to control. I think it is often feelings of discomfort or anxiety which compel us to act in disagreement to our beliefs.
ReplyDeleteJennifer Lai:
ReplyDeleteCognitive dissonance can typically be used to explain how interracial couples can believe that their relationship is no different from couples within the same cultural bounds, but also become so defensive when other people pinpoint it. I think this is because they believe that they are no different, but when society demonstrates otherwise, it creates a gap between reality and beliefs. For example, both the previous week's article and the guest speaker noted that there were lots of stares coming from strangers when an interracial couple was together. The caucasian partner typically didn't notice any off-putting stares while their racial partner did and this can partly be attributed to the cognitive dissonance of the caucasian counterpart because they have no grasp on the idea that people would look at you differently when in reality that is the case.
Cognitive dissonance explains how interracial couples go into relationships thinking about how they can learn more and even enhance each others' cultures. However, once in the relationship, they find that it's more about learning to live with each other's different cultures than about incorporating it into their own. This reflects this inconsistency between what interracial couples imagine in their relationship, and what reality turns out to be. Cognitive dissonance can also illustrate the way in which the public perceives interracial couples. Many people who respect all different cultures and races and are comfortable seeing, talking, and interacting with everyone may feel uncomfortable when actually seeing two people of different cultures or races mixing together in an interracial relationship. This difference between beliefs and reality contributes a lot to the opposition against interracial dating today.
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